An Exercise In Self Control
by Ryan Ninea
Summary: Eric POV from Club Dead, when he and Sookie almost...you know.


AN: Sorry, this was once again written on my email. It is Eric POV in chapter 10 of Club Dead, starting just before she wakes up after the healing. This has probably been done before, but I had to do it. Hope you like it.

An Exercise in Self Control

How did I come to be here? She is wearing next to nothing, and it is a sight to behold, but she is not in a pleasant slumber recovering from my attentions. She is battered and bruised, knocked out on pain killers. Every now and again she makes the smallest noise, or takes in the tiniest breath and each time I feel a tickle up my spine. Vampires do not get tickles up there spines. What the fuck is my problem? What is she? Surely a mere human, even a telepathic human could not rise feeling so ago buried deep within my dead body? Honestly I don't believe I even felt this way as a man, she has brought on feeling that are uniquely her own.

Compton was never worthy of such an inimitable treasure. I knew that the moment I saw her. I wanted her the first time she walked into my club. Before the revelation, I would have just taken her and that would have been that. I have always been kind to my subordinates, but she was not truly his. He had not tasted her; no one had been between her shapely thighs. Once she knew my touch, she would have been mine forever. Now he has her innocence, they have shared blood. I doubt Bill has explained the significance of such exchanges. I doubt he will have her again. She is brave and loyal to a fault. She knows her lover has been unfaithful, yet she will still risk her life to insure his safety. He proved in Dallas he would not do the same. It was I that protected her there, and it is I that lie with her tonight. The Were desires her as well, but his primal nature prevailed and left me the perfect opportunity. I will have her tonight, and then she will drink my blood in quantity. My age allowed the minuscule amount of my blood she ingested in Dallas to start our bond. I had her blood after the maenad attacked her, even poison laden her taste was delightful. After tonight, Sookie Stackhouse will belong to me, and no other will touch her again.

The actions that brought me to this point are quite worrisome. When it comes to the ethereal nymph lying before me, I somewhat forget my better sensibilities. I have survived as long as I have by avoiding situations such as these. If Russell Edgington discovers my identity, it will cause me a great deal of trouble. Following her to Dallas put me in a similar, if not quite as dire, situation. None who owe me fealty were prisoner in Texas. Is she worth this? Surely she offers nothing that is worth such a penalty. Yet, I find my self in compromising positions with her more often than anyone else in my long existence. She keeps herself in the eye of danger, and she puts her own life in jeopardy far more than is necessary. This is part of her spell. She shows total selflessness when others are in danger. This is very foreign to me; maybe this is why I am so impulsive when she is concerned. She is human, frail, as she proved tonight. She almost died. I almost lost her. Why do I care? Humans are a dime a dozen, but she is different. Why is she so important to me? Will she be this important after I have fucked her? I certainly hope not. This obsession is maddening and dangerous. She moans and rolls gently onto her intact side. I move in behind her shielding her body with my own, partly because I feel she must be protected (why, why?) mostly because we are both nearly naked and I want her body against mine. I smell her hair her shoulder her neck. She smells of blood and sweat, and fear, and guilt and lust. It is the most beautiful, erotic, unforgettable scent I have ever encountered._ Do I truly want this psychosis to end?_

Sookie is awake, she is examining her wound. I can feel her worry, because she has had my blood. I can also feel and smell her excitement, she is pleased with our current position, although she will never admit it. She almost yielded to me on that trunk. Tonight there will be no almosts. I will feel her even more very soon, in many ways.

"It's much better" I said, she gasped.

"Thank you, Eric" She replies, even with her voice unsteady, hearing her say my name brings inexplicable pleasure.

"For what?" I say coyly as I gently rub her stomach. She is already aroused, but not ready for my advances. It's alright, entrapment comes naturally to me, and judging by her current state, she shouldn't take much convincing.

"For standing by me in the club. For coming here with me. For not leaving me alone with these people." She is making this even easier than I anticipated.

"How grateful are you?" I whisper, our lips almost touching. Her kisses are always incredible. I am already stiff in anticipation. I can't believe she has this effect on me.

I can feel her body's eagerness. She aches for me as much as I do her, yet she tries to deny us our release.

"That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that. You shouldn't want me to have sex with you just because I owe you." She wants to have sex with me anyway, and she owes me nothing. I didn't do this for her. (_Yes I did_.)

"I don't really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it." Honesty is always the best policy, and I cannot restrain myself any longer. I won't hurt her, but I have to have her. I have to taste her. I have to fuck her. I want her to smell of me. When she rescues Compton she will know she is mine, she will know I have invaded her and she is all the better for it. I remember how he reacted the last time my scent was on his precious Sookie. He can find a new pet, if he touches her again it will be the last thing he does.

My mouth crushes against hers, parting her lips in a bruising kiss that she returns with equal intensity. I can barely contain myself but I will. I have to. She is fragile and inexperienced. My hands are all over her body, igniting a fire in her, she belongs here, beneath me. My hands possess her like they were made to do so. She is mine, I have always known this, it is undeniable. Her arms are around my neck and her fingers are exploring my hair. She bucks her hips against me and I move a hand to her waist, slipping it into her sexy beige panties. She is dripping; I purposely avoid her clit and slide a nimble finger into her hot tunnel.

She let out the most erotic moan I have ever heard into my mouth, her hot breath filling my cool mouth only adds to the bliss. My cock is throbbing, willing me to mount her but I exercise great restraint. Tonight, our first time, must be all about her. I will fuck her until she blacks out another time. She makes the sexiest faces as I rhythmically move my finger inside her tight hole. I have not released her mouth from this searing kiss, and I do not plan on it. I will kiss her while I fuck her and this will make her want me more. I push down the elastic on my boxers with the hand that is not inside her, I started to move up her body ready to penetrate. Ready to claim what is mine. If I hadn't been so enthralled I would have sensed his approach. Jävla avbrott i måste hans huvud dra åt helvete din idiot!

"Miss Sookie! Mr. Eric! I have tracked you down!" Bubba said with as much enthusiam as a vampire is capable. Come to think of it I am pretty fucking enthusiatic myself. Reluctantly I release Sookie's mouth and pull myself away.

"Oh, good for you ,Bubba." I say. Tonight is an exercise in self control. Every instinct within me want me to rip his head off. Sookie is sliding my hand out of her, she is full of guilt. Bubba makes her think of Bill. Fuck.

"Bubba, have you been with us the whole time? Here in Jackson?" Sookie asks him. She knows Bubba is none to bright, she wants to know if we have been caught. I honestly do not care.

"Mr. Eric told me to stick with you" Oh you have got to kidding me, that order was for one fucking night. I have not seen him once since my arrival, he picks now for his grand fucking entrance. I am still fuking hard and anger is building up inside me, he has to get out of here, I don't know how much more I can endure.

He is yammering on to Sookie about something, I do not care why he is here or how sorry he is, all I care is to get him back out. How did he get in anyway?

"Miss Sookie, what are you doing in bed with Mr. Eric if Bill is your boyfriend?" That I paid attention to. Anyone else would be punished for getting in my way and making her feel guilty. What do they call it now? Cockblocking. That's exactly what it is. Bill is just a place holder anyway. Sookie was made for me, I am sure of it.

"That's a real good question, Bubba" Sookie said, well I have come up with an explination. She is moving, she is trying to sit up he breasts bounce in that beautifuly intoxicating only natural ones can. I hate those ridicilious silicone filled bags that silly women pay so much money for. Sookie is wimpering. Fuck, I was lost in my own mental chatter.

"Jävla skit!"

"I am going to give her blood Bubba," I know Sookie will object to this at first but I do not care, she will drink, I will cum and she will be strong. "Let me tell you what I need you to do."

"Sure" Bubba replied.

"Since you got over the wall and into the house without being caught, I need you to search this estate. We think Bill is here somewhere. They are keeping his prisoner. Don't try to free him. This is an order. Come back here and tell us when you have found him. If they see you, don't run. Just don't say anything. Nothing. Not about me, or Sookie, or Bill. Nothing more than, 'Hi my name is Bubba.'"

"Hi my name is Bubba." The idiot repeated. All that talk about Bill has ruined any chance I had of sleeping with Sookie. I will get pleasure from her feeding from me, but I would have preferred to feel her slick inside first and enjoyed that as a dessert.

"Right."

"Hi my name is Bubba"

"Yes. That's fine. Now you sneak, and you be quiet and invisible."

"Yes, Mr. Eric. But after that, I gotta go find me some food. I'm mighty hungry."

"Okay, Bubba. Go search now."

Finally, with him out the window I can finish something. I am still wrapped around Sookie, one of a few good things to come from her injury. I lean in and let my lips brush the shell of her ear as I say, "Sookie, we could have a long argument about you taking my blood, and I know everything you would say. But the fact is, dawn is coming. I don't know if you will be allowed to stay the day here or not. I will have to find shelter, here or elsewhere. I want you strong and able to defend yourself; at least able to move quickly."

She didn't argue. I expected her to argue. _I want her to argue_. She is quiet for a moment. I can feel her conflicting emotions. She still hungers for me, but she feels guilty. Not as guilty as I would have expected she is full as surprises. She is jilted, and she is driven. Soon her emotions will come in much more clear. What I feel from her is like a hint, my knowledge of people allows me to read her face fairly easily. After a long moment she spoke.

"I know Bill is here. And no matter what we just did – thank God for Bubba- I need to find Bill. The best time to get him out of here would be while all you vampires are asleep. Can he move at all during the daytime?"

She could die. She could die saving Compton. Do I want her to do this? I prefer her company to his, but he is valuable to the Queen. I am angry that she bypassed me and tapped him to do a secret project for her. He is in my area, I should have been aware. If she were not involved, I would let Bill rot while Lorena had her way with him. Her majesty is involved though, and when she finds out Bill is missing, I will be held responsible. Sookie's life is more valuable to me than Bill's, but I do not know what the Queen will do, Sookie will also fight me if I tell her not to go after him. I have to let her do this. She wants to do it during the day, I cannot protect her. She is special, she will survive. If she does not it will bring an end to this mania. _She has to survive_.

"If he knows he is in great danger, he may be able to stagger." The bond Compton started (b_ut will not finish_) will allow him to feel her urgency and allow him some consciousness. I won't tell her this though. She doesn't need to know. "Now I am even more sure you will need my blood, because you need strength. He will need to be covered thoroughly. You will need to take the blanket off this bed, it's thick. How will you get him out of here?"

"That's where you come in. After we do this blood thing, you need to go get me a car- a car with a great big trunk, like a Lincoln or a Caddy. And you need to get keys to me. And you'll need to sleep somewhere else. You don't want to be here when they wake up and find their prisoner is gone."

She is worried about my safety and she wants my blood. She also has a plan, and a lot of demands. Very few can get away with telling me what I need to do. He plans is full of holes though, many things must fall into place for her to pull this off.

"Sookie, where will you take him?" There is no one else in the room, but I enjoy saying her name.

"An underground place, hey maybe Alcide's parking garage! That's better than being out in the open."

Good idea, as much as I hate to think of her back in the Were's apartment with his hungry eyes. I picked him as her escort because I believed he had a girlfriend who lived here in town. Apparently my informant was not that well informed. He will regret his misinformation. I hope this works out. It would be a shame to lose Sookie and Bill both.

I sat up and leaned against the headboard. I spread my legs so that Sookie could sit between them; she caught a glimpse of my dick and closed her eyes. She is so innocent; I know she enjoyed the view. I had to laugh.

"Sit up with your back against my chest, Sookie. That will make you more comfortable." I said, but didn't give her a chance to move. I very carefully raised her up to lean against by bare chest I couldn't but wrap my arms around her, but time is short, and I have never gotten off by just hugging a woman so on with the show. I keep my left arm firmly around her, but take my right up and bite into my wrist. I would enjoy the sensation of her biting through my flesh, but she wouldn't, at least not yet.

I offer her my wrist and tell her "This will cure you of everything." After a moment she begins to draw on the wound and I do not keep my delight a secret. I moan and she sucks and I start to grind against her back. She is fighting her own urge to reciprocate, I wish she wouldn't. It would be so much better if I could pick her up just a little and slide her down on my throbbing cock. I can smell her readiness. I won't though, she would regret it. I will let her save Bill, let her get her closure. I know she is done with him, and already mine. She will have to realize this herself. I pull her even closer to me and grind against her one last time, leaving the evidence of my pleasure all over her back. She sucks one last time and it is ecstasy. I will have her soon. I have to. I let my mouth trail down her neck. She smells so sweet, I want to bite her, I want to have a true blood exchange.

"Don't bite me" she says, though her body is sending me a different message. Grudgingly I listen to her mouth, but I let my fangs graze her shoulder just to see if she changes her mind. For half a second she offered me her neck, but then she gave into her own wave of madness and flung herself out of the bed. She acted with almost vampiric speed, she responds remarkably well to my blood. _Made for me._ In that wave of madness I mentioned she opened the bedroom door, and had the small vampire not been there she would have walked into the hall in nothing but skimpy panties. I couldn't help but smile. My modest little Sookie would never do that.

She is doing a good job of looking frail. If they knew she had my blood it would rouse suspicions. Blood is not a gift vampires bestow to anyone, and we supposedly just met. No one would be surprised that I fucked my friends injured girlfriend while he is out gallivanting though the woods. Too bad I didn't. Now little guy is smiling at me suggestively. Why am I always faking bisexual with this girl? I have had men of course, but not for a very long time, they are not my taste. The vampire at the door has provided Sookie with some clothes, that is convenient.

"Leif would you like to share my coffin today?" He said with a very suggestive look on his face. I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. He defiantly wants to catch, but I do not plan on pitching to him tonight. I will have to play the game for now however since he will be my best way to get back in with Sookie's car tonight.

"I have to run an errand for Sookie. I am not sure I'll return before daybreak, but if I do, you can be sure I'll seek you out." I tell him with promise in my eyes. I am a master at making people think I want them. It is my favorite part of enthralling the vermin, just when they think they have me, I kick them in the head. This is not the purpose now. I am baiting him to offer me his company. Sookie is putting something on and he turns his attention to her momentarily.

"Yum" he says to her, I imagine ripping out one of his fangs. How tasty would she be then?

"Again thanks. Could you tell me where the nearest bathroom is?" Sookie asks. He points down the hall somewhere and she excuses herself.

"I would love to tag along, if you'll have me. My name is Bernard by the way."

"I would love to have to have you along Bernard. I am securing Sookie a car so that she may get back to her man in the morning."

"How thoughtful." He said about to sitdown, but I sensed Bubba approaching. Bernard doesn't know his scent, so he probably doesn't notice.

"I do need to speak with Sookie before I leave, why don't you get ready and I will meet you outside."

"Lovely."

I got dressed and called someone nearby who owed me a favor. He knew of an easily accessible Lincoln that belonged to a well known drug dealer, it would be full of contraband, but no one would report it stolen. I am sure Sookie can stay out of trouble on the ride from here to the Were's apartment. Soon after Bernard sauntered out the door, Bubba made his way back through the window.

"Mr. Eric I scoped out the territory for you, just like you asked me to." Bubba said looking very pleased with himself. Just then Sookie walked in and I was able to fully appreciate the robe Bernard leant her. It is really quite flattering. I wish I could rip it off her, but now is not the time.

"Bubba has scoped out the territory, Sookie."

"Miss Sookie, I found Bill. He ain't in such good shape, but he's alive." Sookie immediately dropped into the chair hearing Bubba's words. Sookie is conflicted, and overwhelmed. I wish someone else could do this. Why do I care how she feels? She is serving the purpose I need her to serve, and once this is through she will serve an entirely different but equally important purpose. That should be all that matters. I knew I would be acutely aware of her emotions, which is a pain in the ass, because humans are very volatile species, but I never thought I would give a damn. This is a very odd reaction. _Maybe it has always been this way?_ She must be even more different than I originally thought.

"Where is he?" She asked, but her heart was not in it. She is someplace else.

"There is a big building in the back of here, like a four-car garage, but it's hot apartments on top of it and a room to the side." I'd wager that Bill is in that room.

"Are there any other buildings? Could I get confused?" Her bond with Bill must be fairly week if she doesn't think she could sense him when she is in such close proximity, and has directions.

"There's a swimming pool, Miss Sookie, and it's got a little building right but it for people to change into their bathing suits. And there's a great big toolshed, I think that's what it's for, but it's separate from the garage."

"What part of the garage is he being kept in?" I ask.

"The room to the right side. I think maybe the garage used to stables, and the room is where the kept the saddles and stuff. It isn't too big."

"How many are in there with him?" Maybe we can get him out now. No no, that would never work. This estate is crawling with activity and we still have not secured a vehicle.

"They got three in there right now, Mr. Eric, two men and one woman. All three vamps. She's the one with the knife." Lorena, she is cutting him up. Everyone one was too caught up in the torture to notice Bubba I suppose.

"Knife" Sookie said, she sounds like a field mouse.

"Yes'm she's cut him up pretty bad."

For a moment I thought Sookie might vomit. She quickly steeled herself though. She is good at being the tough girl. I wonder how a lovely southern belle has acquired such a thick skin. Well hearing everyone's filthy mind, and being ridiculed and alienated for it her entire life I suppose.

"He's held out this long." She said.

"He has. Sookie I will go to get a car. I'll try to park it back there by the stables."

"Do you think they'll let you back in?"

"If I take Bernard with me."

"Bernard?"

"The little one." I told her with a smile. I am flattered that he is interested and it certainly serves our purpose, but I have no intentions on the man.

"You mean …Oh if you take Curly with you, they'll let you back in because he lives here?"

"Yes. But I may have to stay here. With him." I let her know I was less than excited about that prospect.

"You couldn't get, ah, out of it?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't want to be caught here, rising, when they discover Bill is gone, and you with him." I am sure I can get out before hand; it just won't be particularly easy.

"Miss Sookie, they'll put werewolves to guarding him during the day."

Sookie and broke our gaze and fixated on Bubba. I didn't realize he was capable of such cognition.

"Those werewolves that have been on your trail? They'll be guarding Bill when the vamps go to sleep"

"But tonight is the full moon. They'll be worn out when it's there turn to take over. If they show up at all."

I could feel pride swelling within me. She is a quick study. I was a little surprised that she thought of this before I did. If I am going to continue keeping her company I will have to learn how to stay on my game in her presence.

"You're right, Sookie. This is the best opportunity we are going to get."

"You could milk your condition and try to stay here until I can get one of my daymen to escort you home. I can call them once I am off the estate and set something up for early morning." I told her. I am very worried about her doing this on her own. Why am I so worried? She is just a human Eric, replaceable. _No she isn't._

"I think that the later it gets in the day, the less likely we are to get him outta here unnoticed."

"You may be right, but I think those chances are pretty slim no matter what time it is."

We both thought about this for a moment.

"Maybe Alcide could lend a hand tomorrow morning." I said. It would make sense for him to come to collect her, and he is in town so she could still make her early morning escape.

"No, Eric. It could ruin his father business. I will have to do this myself. I can handle it."

Silly humans. The future of Jackson Hereveaux's company will not effect her one way of the other. Yet she doesn't want to risk a strangers livelihood. She has terrible self preservation instincts.

"This is maybe the worst plan I have ever heard." I tell her seriously.

"You got that right, but it's all we have."

"You'll do great, Miss Sookie" Bubba told her. Blind enthusiasm is not a vampire characteristic. She seems reassured though.

"Thank you, Bubba" She said.

"Don't get too carried away, this often happens when people buy black market vampire blood. You are not a super hero."

Someone knocked on the door and Bubba disappeared out the window. I know it is Bernard. I told him I would meet him outside. Maybe it won't be so hard to ditch him after all. I sat down in the chair, Sookie tried to look weak. I knew she was wired and horny.

"Come in." I said in a tone considerate of someone visiting an injured friend.

"How is she doing? Her color is better." Bernard whispered.

"Still in pain, but healing thanks to the generosity of your king."

"He was glad to do it. But he will be, ah, best pleased if she can leave on her own tomorrow morning. He is sure by then her boyfriend will be back at his apartment after he had enjoyed the moon tonight. I hope this doesn't seem too brusque?"

"No, I can understand his concern." I said matching his polite demeanor.

"Then I'll go get her a car and park it in the area to the rear of the house, and she can drive herself out tomorrow. If you can arrange that she'll have safe passage through the front gates- I assume they are guarded during the day?- I will have fulfilled my obligation to Alcide." That should cover all the bases.

"That sound very reasonable I'll leave word at the gate when we go. My car okay? It's just a little old egg-beater, but it'll get us to…where did you want to go?" He was beaming. If only Sookie were so overt with her feelings for me.

"I'll tell you when we're on the road. It's close to the home of a friend of mine. He knows a man who'll loan me a car for a day or two."

I leaned over Sookie, and gave her the only kiss I could give our company. I wanted to reenact our exchange earlier and finish what we started. That will have to wait. I spoke in the lowest tone I thought she could hear. "Sookie. Can you hear me?" She barely nodded. "Good. Listen, I am going to get you a car. I'll leave the keys up here by the bed when I get back. In the morning, you need to drive out of here and back to Alcide's. Do you understand?"

She nodded again and said "Bye. Thank you." In her best fake drowsy voice. She was fairly convincing. Being so close to her, surrounded by her smell I am practically in frenzy all over again.

"My pleasure." I tell her my voice rough. I know she senses my frustration. She is amused.

Bernard's car is almost as bad as Sookie's. I do not understand. I behave politely and try to seem interested and he rubs my thigh so vigorously I worry he might catch them on fire. He wouldn't be pacified with just my company. I reluctantly kissed him, he enthusiastically sucked on my neck. I was more than relieved that he bought my excuse of dawn approaching.

I am happy that I was able to drive back alone. I don't want to snap such a helpful mans wrist, but tonight is not a good night to annoy me.

Sookie was asleep when I arrived back in her room. I made some noise with the keys to let her know I was there. She may already know if she is aware of the blood within her. She is glowing, almost like a vampire. Sookie, the vampire, perhaps one day.

"I'm back. It's a white Lincoln. I parked out by the garage; there wasn't room inside, which is a real pity. They wouldn't let me get any closer to confirm what Bubba said. Are you hearing me." I was speaking very quietly. She nodded.

"Good Luck." I said. I wanted to tell her not to do it. I wanted to leave with her and fuck her in a vampire accessible hotel room until dawn. I can't and I shouldn't. I am scared she won't make it. _I need her to make it_. I can't tell her that. "If I can disentangle myself, I'll meet you in the parking garage at first dark tonight. If you aren't there I'll go back to Shreveport." If you are there you will go back with me I left out. Just then she opened her smokey blue eyes. I want to protect her. I need to see those eyes tomorrow.

"We'll talk later." Was all I trusted myself to say. I know she knows what I mean. Why does she have such an effect on me?

"Thanks for the car." Was all she said.

"I don't like having feelings."


End file.
